Frankly, I’ve had it with the narcissistic assumption that gay folks are dying to get into any straight club that doesn’t want them. So let me be clear about a few things: I do not want to order a wedding cake from a bakery owned by a guy who thinks I’m going to hell. I have no desire to purchase bouquets from a florist who pickets Pride parades. I wouldn’t serve pizza at a wedding if the owner paid me and offered to serenade my guests with an a cappella version of “Born This Way.” And finally, the suggestion that I would be insane enough to want to force a homophobic clergyperson to preside over my most sacred day is beyond insulting. I’m a lesbian who was raised Orthodox Jewish and even I am not that self-hating.