10 years later…

Anniversaries are supposed to be happy occasions, a remembrance of important life events like weddings, college graduations, or years spent at a career. Anniversaries are supposed to make us reminisce and remember with joy, to remind us of how much we’ve grown and changed over the years.

Today marks an important ten year anniversary for my family, however, it is one that fills our hearts with sadness instead of joy. Ten years ago, today, the most important man in my life left it too early, becoming an angel in heaven far too young.

Our dad fought a valient 5+ year fight against lung cancer, all the while continuing to take care of his family. He was the most honest, hard working, and loving man I’ve ever known. When I think on everything our family has gone through since – a daughter married, my graduation from medical school, the birth of several grandchildren, and the loss of my grandmother – it aches even more knowing what he has missed and how much he is missed.

Ten years later, and it’s becoming harder to remember his walk, his talk, his strong presence, and his passion.  A decade later, it’s still hard, and it still hurts.  When it gets to that point, I cling to the hope that somewhere he is watching over us, and that he’s probably looking down and smiling along with his mom and dad.  I hold on to the fact that we only hurt because we we care, and that our pain is a testament to how important someone was to us.  It’s a pain and a hurt shared with my mom and sisters, and a similar feeling with other family and friends.

What I wouldnt give to have him here for even just an hour, just to chat and impart his wisdom.  Yet I know that’s not possible.  Instead, I will hold my family close and my memories closer.

I carry your heart with me.  I carry it in my heart.


About justgngr

the ramblings of a medical professional by day, judgmental ginger by night
This entry was posted in emotional and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to 10 years later…

  1. Brian says:

    He would be VERY proud of all that you have become and all that you can/will accomplish.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s