Looking not backward, but forward

We as human beings are intrinsically priceless, and it’s the unfortunate ones who don’t see our inherent worth.  We are here to choose, not to be chosen, and only those who see our true inherent worth should be given the opportunity.

It’s not long until midnight, until 2013 officially begins and 2012 becomes yet another year for the history books.  For some reason, starting with what I wrote a year ago in anticipation of the promise held by 2012 seemed to be the only appropriate way to look back on the year.  I ended last year’s NYE post with the words above… and I have to admit that message rang true this year.

2012 started with an emotionally bruised and battered me, rushing off and running away to the Caribbean for some serious heart mending and soul searching, and that trip to Barbados was the perfect beginning to a roller coaster year – but one of mainly ups.  True, this heart would have mended even without that trip to Barbados.  However, the pain and heartache would have lasted much longer; the strength and confidence to carry on may never have reached their summit.  The inner peace would have been a long time coming without that long walk on the beach under full moonlight.

But I came back from the Caribbean looking not backward, but forward.  Though this blog was started many years ago, I took a renewed interest and a different focus in February.  The rest of the year was spent much the same way.  Looking ahead for challenges and opportunities, truly taking many of the “30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself” to heart.  I learned not to make the same mistakes as I did in 2011.  I learned to be a little more selfish, to not let my past relationships get in my way, and to not get into relationships for the wrong reasons.  Jumped head first into school/work and took some chances that turned out to be great ideas in the long run.

Somehow I managed to do all of the things I worried about when I worried about turning thirty.  I’d like to think this year successfully balanced the competing desires to be successful, start a relationship, and keep up with friends – all while taking care of and not losing my own sense of self.  I’m not trying to sound self aggrandizing here.  These are, in fact, the same lessons I’ve posted on this blog every day this month.  This past year is merely a testament to putting them into place, and New Year’s Eve is a call to action.  NYE is a moment to reflect, learn, move forward and do.

I don’t quite know exactly what 2013 has in store.  There will be some big things for sure – finishing my MPH, returning to surgical residency.  A trip back to the Caribbean in January – although this time not for soul searching in Barbados, but for helping those in need in Haiti. The remainder of it is unplanned, and the uncertainty of it all almost doesn’t matter.  Because whatever it is, I got this – and if I cant do it alone, I know there are people to whom I can turn for help.  But I do know one thing for certain. This year when the clock strikes midnight and the crystal ball in Times Square reaches the number 2013, I know exactly where I’ll be.  I’ll be standing next to and holding onto the one I chose… and the one who chose me.  And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Happy New Year everyone.  Reflect on the good and the bad from this past year.  And then look forward, go out, and make something of the new year.

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About justgngr

the ramblings of a medical professional by day, judgmental ginger by night
This entry was posted in emotional, inspirational, relationships, revelation and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

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