If I hit snooze 3 times, it should automatically send an email to my boss saying I’ll be out sick.
I don’t care if you ransack my base, I have a goddamn vault.
Rounding with the attendings is like a game of chess. The medical students are the sacrificial pawns that you send into battle first. The intern is like the knight and the mid-level resident is the bishop. But the main goal of everyone is to protect your queen…
… wait, I mean king!
When birthday cake is your last meal before coming to the hospital at age 84, that’s usually a sign from God.
Wait… so there are no gay rights in Louisiana?
You might be the jerk of the week if you just happen to be Texas Governor Rick Perry.
Perry is currently out in California on a mostly economic agenda as he’s trying to lure businesses to the Lone Star State. At a speech sponsored by the Commonwealth Club in San Francisco, the governor – who is widely believed to be considering a Presidential run – was asked whether he thought homosexuality was a disorder. His reply?
“I may have the genetic coding that I’m inclined to be an alcoholic, but I have the desire not to do that – and I look at the homosexual issue the same way,” Perry said.
Fred Sainz of the Human Rights Campaign may possibly have the best retort to this statement. “Although he may not have the ‘genetic coding’ to think before he speaks, Rick Perry, M.D. should have a real conversation with actual doctors before voicing his expertise on these issues.”
Surprisingly… not said by a gay man.
If you do it in the butt, more people will pay attention.
You can’t find a good website for light spanking.
It’s no surprise that I’m not a fan of Michele Bachmann (R-MN). Her misinformation regarding the HPV vaccine during the last presidential race pretty much destroyed her credibility for me as a physician and public health practitioner. Her controversial opinions on same-sex marriage, the Constitution, and the President are really just adding more water to the sinking ship that is my taste for Bachmann.
And then… she became the jerk of the week.
During last week’s Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), Bachmann sat down with radio host Lars Larson and discussed the recent veto of Arizona bill SB 1062 by Governor Jan Brewer. Bachmann wasn’t happy with Brewer’s decision and was quick to blame the gay community and LGBT activists for the downfall of the bill. She states,
There’s nothing about gays in there. But the gay community decided to make this their measure. I think the thing that is getting a little tiresome, the gay community, they have so bullied the American people, and they’ve so intimidated politicians. The politicians fear them, so that they think they get to dictate the agenda everywhere.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the LGBT community is a group of bullies, going out there stealing lunch money from the American people and scaring politicians. The group as a whole is SO powerful that politicians are shaking in their boots, therefore the gay community can walk all over them. No folks, the LGBT community are not a victimized minority but rather an intimidating minority dictating the political course of our country.
Which definitely explains why so many states were able to pass laws and constitutional amendments banning marriage equality. And it definitely explains why Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell and the Defense of Marriage Act were done away with oh so long ago in our nation’s political…
I like to kill a person with kindness… and right now this bitch is dead!
When she explains something, she makes War and Peace look like a pamphlet.
I took the patient to the operating room due to peer pressure.
So last night, Orthopedics nailed the labia.
“Let’s just throw weed killer into your belly.”
“It’s like deep throating the aroma.”
“Your lack of planning is not my emergency.”
You might as well rent a locker in either Atlanta or Charlotte, keep an extra suit, pair of underwear, or a tie there just in case. You’re going to be spending a lot of time there and you very well might be stranded.
Having already flown through these two cities several times in the past few weeks (including Atlanta yesterday), this would actually be ideal.
Late night host John Stewart took some time on his show Monday night to discuss the public “coming out” of former Missouri defensive line player Michael Sam. You can refer to my tweet of the week with Donte Stallworth with his reaction to reports that teams may find drafting Michael Sam to be “too distracting.” The ever brilliant John Stewart put another spin on it, by highlighting some of the controversies that other NFL players have brought to their teams.
Okay I get that. No pro team wants the type of controversy that having a gay player is going to cause. If he had just been convicted of DUI vehicular manslaughter, or obstruction of justice in connection with a murder, or had been accused of sexual assault, or screamed the N-word at a concert, or killed a bunch of dogs and buried them in his f***ing backyard. You know, NFL material.