I’m still trying to plan how I’m going to feel.
I mean, I know I threatened to punch you in the face, but it was in a nice way.
I’m not yawning; I’m taking an oxygen break to refuel my muscles so I can lift my beer faster.
Turning tricks on the corner, even I know that!
We’re in that awkward stage where half of our friends are having babies and the other half are too drunk to find their phones.
@JoshElder: I eat gummy bears two at a time because it feels cruel to make them face the void alone. #PeopleForTheEthicalTreatmentofGummyAnimals
So it turns out that Americans love football. And by that I mean Americans really love soccer. Ratings for the World Cup have hit all time highs in the United States, and have continued even after Team USA was eliminated. Perhaps we could get behind some other things that the rest of the world enjoys?
While some of us on the East Coast are having our holiday dampened by Hurricane Arthur – Boston had to move it’s fireworks to the 3rd and barely beat the weather – I hope the rest of you are enjoying your holiday weekend and celebrating America in style. I’d like to take the opportunity to thank all of the brave men and women who have fought for this country, and those who work tirelessly to make her a little better every single day.
Happy Birthday America!
Rounding with the attendings is like a game of chess. The medical students are the sacrificial pawns that you send into battle first. The intern is like the knight and the mid-level resident is the bishop. But the main goal of everyone is to protect your queen…
… wait, I mean king!
When birthday cake is your last meal before coming to the hospital at age 84, that’s usually a sign from God.
Wait… so there are no gay rights in Louisiana?
There’s this thing where honesty is kinda taboo. When people get near the truth, or comedians or artists get near the truth, people get uncomfortable and that uncomfortable area is where I like to live.
~Whitney Cummings, comedian/actress