my life in vacations

I recently returned from a trip to the Riviera Maya in Mexico with my good friend and confidante Areeg.  When we departed for Mexico last week, she was surprised to find I never wrote a blog post about my vacation in Barbados.  Areeg is not the first person to point out the utter lack of commentary on my part about my journey to that lovely Caribbean isle.  I guess I wasnt ready.  Maybe I thought there was nothing worth posting.  Or perhaps I thought it would be too self-centered and personal.

But then again, divulging my inner thoughts and feeling is how this blog started.  So with the aid of some classical music in the background, here goes nothing…

I left for Barbados on January 6th.  I booked this trip a mere two days after Christmas (and somehow got a really good deal on JetBlue).  And I went alone.  Several people commented that this was brave – traveling alone to a foreign country on such short notice.  I cringe at the word brave because my need and desire to go to Barbados was not a courageous act in the slightest.  I was practically running.  And I needed to get away…

I went to Barbados to re-group, re-focus, re-center, and rediscover who I am.  I’m not proud to admit it, but I went on vacation to heal a heart that had been shattered and broken barely a short month before my trip.  In the interval time, I had put back together my Humpty-Dumpty of a heart with duct tape and gradually built a weak fortress around it to protect what was threatening to crumble inside at any moment.  At the base, I was still shattered and broken but had now layered bitterness, confusion, and sadness on top.  Several people, Areeg included, noted that the light was gone from my eyes.  I’d hate to know what they actually saw in those blue eyes at that moment, and I’ve never dared to ask.  Simply put, I was a mess twice-warmed over and slowly recovering.

So I traveled alone to Barbados.  Even though I had friends who offered to go with, I ultimately decided that I needed to go away alone, be at peace, and get away from the world I knew in Boston.  Thankfully, Barbados did not disappoint.  I’m not kidding when I say that the trip was everything I needed and more.  There wasnt anything in particular that happened, no grand events.  I spent much of my time on the beach in the sun, lounging around the hotel, or swimming in the ocean.  There were several late walks on the beach as the sun set.  And a late night walk on the beach under full moonlight.  In which I bared my soul to the island that saved both it and me.  I healed, and I am forever grateful to that little island in the Caribbean for making me whole again.

Naturally after a vacation in which one repairs their soul, a trip filled with sunshine, laughter, and good times is absolutely necessary.  And thus, the trip to Mexico was born.  Areeg and I cooked up this little trip in much the same fashion as my trip to Barbados – booked a mere 10 days prior to boarding a plane for Cancun.  We had a great time in the sun and surf and ate far too much food at the all you can eat buffets.  And may have had a drink or two… or thirty?  Naturally, Areeg and I came up with solutions for world peace and balanced the federal budget while sipping margaritas.  I think for both of us, the highlight of the trip was spending a day at Chichen Itza and cave diving at the cenote in Ik Kil.  A trip I will definitely remember for a life time, and the perfect opposite of my trip to Barbados.

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About justgngr

the ramblings of a medical professional by day, judgmental ginger by night
This entry was posted in emotional, relationships, revelation, vacation and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to my life in vacations

  1. BosGuy Blog says:

    Glad you are back, and happy you had a nice vacation

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